“Imagine a toddler’s brain is like a single storey bungalow, it has a kitchen, a bathroom and a sofa bed – everything needed for basic survival, but it is lacking the first floor of a two storey house, like that of an adult. The two storey adult brain has all the toddler’s brain has (the basic needs for survival) but the added first floor provides a whole lot more, it provides a study – a place for contemplation and a bedroom – a place for calmness and relaxation and a large mirror – for self reflection and the development of empathy. Now in the bungalow when a toddler is scared their emotions swirl around the rooms, but sometimes, lots of times, they become overwhelming and without a first storey to diffuse them in the contemplation room, they ‘flip out’ and escape easily just like smoke coming out of a chimney. In an adult though, any big feelings originating downstairs in the primal part of their ‘home’ can move upstairs where they can be diffused and rational decisions made. Toddler’s do not have this second storey, they do not have extra ‘rooms’ to diffuse their feelings, they do not have ‘rooms’ of contemplation and rational thought, they do not have a mirror to reflect on the feelings of others – they are not selfish they just cannot comprehend that other people may have different feelings to them, making them highly egocentric.”
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